Note to self: when you trap a red wasp under a box for your husband to kill, don’t forget to tell your husband about it or 2% of the time your beagle will tip the box over without you knowing it allowing the evil thing to escape. He (the wasp) will then plot his revenge for being held captive and sting you (very hard I might add) so that you have to call your husband home from the farm to give you your epi-pen (which he [the husband] enjoys a little too much).
*sigh* the life of a 2%
One area of my pride that was never an issue for me was asking for help-or admitting when I sucked at something. Well, I am horrible at washing vehicles! Laugh if you want, but I know when to admit defeat. Hila Fay and I spent three hours and had to wash my van three separate times and it still had mud clumps (and that was before Hila discovered the joy of running back and forth in the in the mud puddles that hose water created in our “gravel” driveway). Then I had give her a bath, I’m thinking the $6 car wash doesn’t sound so expensive anymore! Hehehe!
Even after I gave the van a “once over” and pulled it back onto the carport this is what I found:
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Yesterday’s post left my mind kind of twirling and all afternoon I could feel God nudging me, telling me to delve just a little deeper. I’ve been reading a book by Beth Moore titled Praying God’s Word: Breaking Free from Spiritual Strongholds. One of the first chapters is on pride. You know that expression that says “Never pray for patience”? (If you don’t that’s a whole ‘nother blog) Well, you might wanna add pride to the warning list. A week ago I thought I was pretty humble, then I started reading this book and now I’ve been eating humble pie for three days straight-and I’ve got a feeling that “God’s still working on me…” Well at least I won’t have to pan the menu for next week.
All this praying and thinking on pride made me come up with my own theory. I think that there are two types of pride:
1. Pride of Self
2. Pride in Self
Pride of Self
Hila has really developed a love for coloring. She will sit for WHOLE MINUTES (she’s a toddler, what did you expect?) and quietly work, perfecting her masterpiece before bringing it to me and excitedly proclaiming, “It’s to your heart!” Her face beams in obvious delight-in pride-of her accomplishment. This is pride of self. I think it is good and healthy. I encourage it in Hila and get almost as much joy out of the expression on her face as she must from the flutter in her heart.
Then we have…
Pride in Self
This is the kind that I think gets us Christians. This isn’t necessarily the snooty “I’m too good for that”, high-and-mighty kinda pride. This is the sneak in the backdoor and hide in the mud room kind of pride. It whispers that we’re too good to apologize (or forgive 7 x 70) or to ask for help when we need it. Pride in Self convinces us that our gifts aren’t good enough; so instead of singing that special that we’ve been practicing for a month we once again sit on “our” pew ans hum the chorus in our head.
The more I thought about it, the more ashamed I was. I let my pride in self convince me over and over not to do the bidding of God-even though God warns us about this! Prov. 29:23a “A person’s pride will humble him …]” I used it as an excuse not to: call, witness, forgive, try, … fill-in-the-blank … How much more powerful could we (Christians) be if we learned to bridle or pride in self: to mute that voice that says “you can’t” and learn to think “He can!” What if we just try one “bite” at a time? We could mend a broken fence or sing that song. We could grab a friend and go witnessing without letting the worry of rejection stop us. Let’s stop listening to the nagging voice in our head, to the popular mandates of today that says Christian forgiveness and compassion is equivalent to wus and instead choose to believe that God knows what He’s talking about.
Prov 11:2 “When pride comes, disgrace follows; but with humility does wisdom.”
As for me-I still have a whole table full of pie left that I need to try and finish.
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But first, I should finish what I start and right now i
Matthew 5:44 “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,”
I make one of the worst enemies, and I don’t mean in a threatening-cue the ominous music-type of way. I mean I suck at STAYING mad at people. Don’t get me wrong, I have temper and it is quite notorious in its own right, but I just don’t have the heart to stay upset at someone; especially if they once held a dear spot in my life. How do people go from “loving” each other, especially if they are Christians, to enemies?
Nancy Leigh DeMoss, in her book “Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets them Free” tells us that every sin begins with a lie. I can just see Satan kicked back, whispering in our ears then getting ready for his own reality TV. “She doesn’t really like you, she’s just using you.”
“If he was really your friend he’d come tell you if something was wrong, you wouldn’t have to ask.”
Then pride jumps in, puts a straight jacket on us and we sit around muttering about what a jerk so-and-so was/is. Yea, this same jerks that remembered your birthday when all your other friends forgot; or whom made a four hour trip in two when you got put in the hospital….again. These are the friends that you can laugh with until tears run down your leg and you make that weird snort/grunt noise-which just makes y’all laugh all the harder. Yet one indiscretion, one slight, is enough to make tempers flare and everyone walk away from years worth of bonfires and memories-after all, we have our pride, right?
Daniel 4:37b
“He is able to humble those who walk in pride.”
I think that the source of “fueds” has as much to do with pride as it does with anger or a person having been wronged. I know of one situation where a person has been upset at me for over a year and I honestly have no idea why they are mad me. My pride says, I’ve done nothing wrong if she has an issue she needs to call me, right? Wrong. I have let pride and modern worldliness control my actions instead of God’s word.
Matthew 5:23-24
“So if you are offering your gift on the alter, and there you remember that your brother has something something against you, leave your gift there in front of the alter. First go and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”
Matthew 6:15
“But if you don’t forgive people, your Father will not forgive your wrongdoing.”
At some point or another the forgiveness has to start somewhere, the pride has to fall and the healing begin. I choose to let it start with me.
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