Keeping the “Spark”

I am working on creating a Bible Study on protecting your marriage. So, over the next few weeks I’d like to pose questions to y’all and get your input (please & thank you). Today I’d like to ask about what you do to keep the “spark” in your relationship.
Do you still intentionally flirt with your spouse?
How often do you go out on dates?
How do you spice up things when you feel there is a (sexual) lull in the relationship?
Older couples, what advice do you have for newlyweds?


7 thoughts on “Keeping the “Spark”

  1. My spouse and I are pretty flirty with each other. He is the typical “walk by and paw at your boobs/butt” type of romantic. We do not go on dates nearly enough. He is in the military and so he is gone a lot and that can make scheduling pretty hard. With 3 kids, our relationship comes last a lot. We don’t really have lulls…again with him being out of town. Right when things seem like they might be boring, he leaves. Haha, kidding. I think he would like me to do more in that aspect, and I really want to, but…at the end of the day, it’s hard.

    1. How long have y’all been married? My hubby & will be married 8 years in Feb.

      1. We will be celebrating 8 years in March!

    2. Btw, he’s the same kind of “romantic”, lol! Though every once in a while he picks me wild flowers. I try to make a point to still flirt and wear nice “outfits” for him hehehe.

  2. My hubby and I have been married for 4 and a half years, he’s also in the military although we’re getting a nice two year break while the Army pays for him to get his Master’s. We flirt pretty much all the time. Just being silly and goofy with each other, or whispering comments when we’re out and about, he’s definitly more physically affectionate then I am, but I like running up and pants-ing him everyonce in awhile just to keep him on his toes.

    We’re both introverts, so we prefer to spend time as much time as possible with each just each other. Since we generally don’t like the hassle of going out in public all the time a “date” as defined by us, is any period of time we’ve set aside to focus on just each other. Whether it is doing something active (like going for a run and discussing recently read books) or passive like fixing dinner and watching a movie together. When we had our own place that meant pretty much dates all the time, but now that his parents have graciously allowed us to stay with them to save on rent while he gets his Masters, we “go out” a lot more frequently to get that time with each other that we need.

    We haven’t really had a lull in the bedroom department yet, although some of it I think is because I make an effort to make sure we stay active in that area AND because like the previous comment-er stated, being military means he’s gone a lot. Before this recent PCS, if he wasn’t deployed he was scheduled in all sorts of schools and training, we both LOVE homecomings haha. I say “me” about the “staying active” thing because he’s always in the mood and I’m not-which I think is pretty typical male-female sex drive. But it’s his way of connecting with me, his way of being intimate and “showing” that he loves me and I get that, so I try to make sure I’m not too much of a grump about it 🙂 And, funnily enough, I have begun to realize the difference in my attitude towards my husband now when we haven’t had a good romp in awhile. One thing that helps me is purposefully thinking about him in that manner throughout the day, and to make an extra effort to dress up nice. When I FEEL sexy, I’m a lot more likely to want it. We also write sexy texts, emails, notes to each other-especially when we’re apart. I also pray about it. Frequently. I think God chuckles when he hears my prayers on occasion, because I’ve definitely prayed to feel sexier before or to keep me from getting impatient if my husband wants some fun and I don’t. But it helps. If anything it reminds me of how blessed I am to have my husband in the first place and once I start thanking God for my marriage my attitude is a little more open to my husband.

    HOWEVER. Our marriage is about to be tested in new ways since we”re expecting our first bundle of chaos at the end of April. Once the baby enters the picture, I’m sure we’re both going to have to work at making our marriage a priority. My parents do not have a happy marriage, for many reasons, but I remember as a very young child one time that my mom was feeling silly and my dad danced with her in the kitchen. I only have that one memory of them being happy with each other, the rest of the time they were fabulous parents and abysmal spouses. I don’t want that for my children. My husband and I have talked and prayed about it and are making sure we put each other near the top of the list so that our baby can grow up in a house witness to a committed loving relationship. That is our fervent prayer.

    Sorry for such a long comment, sheesh. Good luck on your Bible Study I think that’s a great idea!

    1. Skeefer thank you for such a thoughtful reply!!! Chuck and I are still very flirtatious as well, I still get butterflies when he winks at me 😀
      How is the pregnancy going?
      I’m going to review your answer more thoroughly in the morning & reserve the right to rebuttal! Hehehe
      Thanks for the details & support. I’ll send you a copy when I’m done, if you want.

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